


Who you have become is(n’t) an alien

by Theta Sigma (Kiriahtan)



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Trollhunters - Daniel Kraus & Guillermo del Toro
Genre: BECOME fanbook, Character Study, Gen, I firmly believe Jim and Aja would be besties, Introspective Jim, Troll Jim Lake Jr., Trollhunters ending spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26363740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiriahtan/pseuds/Theta%20Sigma
Summary: They won. They made it. It seemed impossible but after so much effort they did it. His sacrifice had been worthwhile.But now Jim needed time to be alone and just think about the future he had lost by his decision.
Kudos: 49





	Who you have become is(n’t) an alien

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! I wrote this for the BECOME fanbook project, mod by Charles Tan. It was an AMAZING experiencie, I was so glad I could be part of it. We sell all the zines in 24h!!!! and the final book is just beautiful.   
> Since it had been several months, I'm uploading my piece here so everyone can enjoy it. 
> 
> Yes, the title is an Evangelion reference, sorry not sorry.

There were moments Jim realized how much he hated Merlin. Those moments were weird and fast, like a beast fleeing from the Dark Lands. He kept the beast under control but sometimes he hated Merlin more than Gunmar because the magician had more power over him in one week than any enemy had in his entire existence. Jim was aware that he had made his decision himself -voluntarily, ignoring his friends behind the bathroom's door. But this decision was so important that sometimes he wished he wasn’t responsible of it. Those moments passed. No, he didn't hate the magician, but he definitely didn't like him. Merlin still had a devious points: he hid what he didn't want Jim to know, taking advantage of all of them even if they all had a common goal. But he didn't hate him.

However there were moments in where it was difficult to be reasonable.

There were moments when Jim didn't want to think about how his hands were bigger now or when he didn't need to be aware of his new horns to lower himself in order to not touch the ceiling. It felt natural but then he noticed it and suddenly it wasn't as easy as it was a few seconds ago.

"We'll leave tomorrow" he decided. Toby seemed about to cry and Jim was convinced that he would do as soon as they left.

There were moments when he could kept composure but inside he just wanted to cry too. And he shouldn't.

They didn't have time for goodbyes so he moved back, separating from the group.

"Where will you go?" Claire noticed his movement.

"To rest" he answered elusively.

It wasn't a lie -a white one maybe-. He needed to rest a bit, but mostly he wanted to be alone.

They had defeated Gunmar and Morgana, the sky was beginning to clear the eternal night but it would take a few hours yet until the last would dissipate and the people of Arcadia Oaks could speak about the eclipse, even if it wasn't actually an eclipse. Astronomers could prove it easily but then they would have to demonstrate _what it actually_ was and that would be much more difficult so no one would say anything and everyone would accept the eclipse excuse, hoping that if they didn't think too much about it wouldn't happen again.

They won. They made it. It seemed impossible but after so much effort they did it.

His sacrifice had been worthwhile.

And now that they did it, what now? He had only carried out the transformation in order to face an evil so great that there was no other way. Jim didn't seemed to survive that night. Now it was over and he was still a troll. One of those stone creatures that were already part of his family in his heart, but that they weren't human like him. Until now.

He needed time to think.

He couldn't do things without his friends. Jim had left them behind so many times, wanting to protect them, and he understood that this wasn't how things worked. This was Jim's lesson: you are as strong as the friends you have. But right now he needed to be alone. So he couldn't mist over them with his thoughts when they deserved to be happy after their victory.

-He was doing it again. Running away without his friends. Jim guessed that learning something wasn't as easy as learning a new spanish word at school-.

His footsteps led him to the residential neighborhood furthest from his own. He didn't know how to handle the fact that his mother knew everything now, again. He couldn't make her forget again. It would be so unfair after all her support...

How could his head be this messed up after they won the final battle?

It would drive him mad...

"Wooooooala! What are you?" a strong northern European accent suddenly said behind him. When Jim turned he saw the blonde new girl. Jim realized that his appearance wasn't the same as the last time they met and instinctively walked away, searching for a credible excuse to hide the would that he had been hiding so much time.

"What? This? Nothing! A costume!"

"Jim? Is it you?" Aja approached, no idea of what 'personal space' meant. She grabbed his hand. Fascinated she approached the bluish skin to her face to see it closely -very closely- and then smelt it. "When did you turn blue?"

"... How do you know who I am?" To try to deceive Aja would be impossible and it was better to accept it as soon as possible.

"You have the same metal suit from the other night."

"Well, anyone could wear it." No anyone actually but that wasn't the point. She looked him into the eyes and laughed at the nonsense.

"Still you. What happened? Is this how you humans grow up? Are we going to become blue too?"

"No, no!" He wave his hands. "This... uh... was unexpected" Jim lowered his voice, finally confessing himself.

She noticed it, somehow.

"What happened" Aja asked again, getting closer to his face.

Jim sighed. And then he told Aja. The sky above them was still amber and black, Morgana's whirlwind still dying and it still seemed the end of the world. And at the end of the world it didn't seem terrible to reveal the secrets that he had been kept for so much time to... well, to an alien.

"Wow. You have been through a lot." This was the first thing Aja said when Jim finished. The girl had invited him to climb to her roof. From there they could see better the destruction that had ravaged the city. The streets hadn't begun to recompose yet, but they would. The neighbors would lend a hand, the city hall would asphalt the streets again, surely there would be some lawsues and cries that would go nowhere because what happened was inexplicable even with an eclipse and a gas leak. But gradually Arcadia Oaks would return to its normality. But Jim wouldn't. There was no gas leak that could explain his blue skin, much less his stone touch or his inability to see the sunlight again. Arcadia Oaks would return, but he would be left behind. Even in the Dark Lands he had believed he could stay behind. He always found the way out of everything since Draal had challenged him in combat the first time. And now Draal wasn't there either.

Aja hit Jim's shoulder without advice.

"Congratulations for saving the world" she said, smiling. "My brother is out but I wish he had heard you."

"Thank you" Jim spoke without feeling it. She still looked at him, waiting and listening. "It's just that... I don’t know where I'm going to belong now. I don't fit anywhere now... I'm not the same and I never will be... this... there isn't anyway to fix this. It's like I am an..." He realized what he was about to say and he felt ashamed. The blush wasn't noticeable on his cheeks, the blood running differently under the stone than the flesh.

"Like you are..." Aja encouraged him to continue, expectant.

"An alien", Jim dared to finish. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to offend..."

But Aja laughed.

"Sometimes I feel like an alien too" she confessed. Jim wanted to say that, well, she was, but she spoke again. "Krell fits much better than me, even on my planet. I'm always the weirdo. Maybe if I wasn’t, what happened wouldn’t have..." the girl lowered her head, avoiding looking at anything. "I don't know what to fit is. Krell was the one prepared to rule, he always had been. I always snuck away. I think I run away because of that, to feel a little less alien." Aja was talking now to the sky and the sky was reflecting his amber light in her eyes. "Here I have learned that even if you are an alien you can fit in. That's why I like Steve, and the school, even my brother. Even if I'm a weirdo he loves me. The earth is where I can be. I came to consider the Earth my home and it wasn't the Earth that changed... it was me. The Earth is my home until we can return home. And I might be a weirdo alien but I like to be a bit weird and maybe when we return I can be myself and fit in. And you can also create a home, whatever you are, whoever you want to be, whatever skin you have.

To create a home wherever he wished. It sounded like on the surface or in the Trollmarket, or even somewhere else. With Claire or with Barbara, even if she loved someone new now and he was going to have a stepfather.

It sounded like you don’t have to leave because you want to run, because if you wanted to run from yourself you'd be running forever. It sounded like you could make your own decision and you decided if you were an alien or not.

It sounded that everyone are a bit alien, with flesh skin or stone.

He wanted to say thank you but he couldn't speak right now.

Aja's hand moved to his face, stopped just half an inch from his skin. That startled him. Aja was so noiseless.

"Can I touch you?" she whispered, fascinated.

She didn't see an alien in him.

Gratitude made Jim not say no and the girl gently touched his skin, excitingly trembling.

"Woah" she whispered. "You're amazing."

"I have to go" he said, a few minutes later. He didn't want but he was aware of Toby, and Claire, and Non-Enrique, and Blinky, and everyone waiting for him. He didn’t want to run away again. "Thank you so much." He blamed the human languages because he couldn’t put all his gratitude in just four words, but he tried.

Aja smiled, standing up in the roof.

"Krell is about to arrive" she said. "I understand. I hope we will see again soon."

She smiled. So clear, so honest. Like the new cloudless sky upon them. Jim knew they were going to leave at sunrise but he promised:

"See you soon."


End file.
